Monday, February 27, 2012

The Marrow of the Matter

I can read a passage a thousand times, and never capture its heart.

"From the same source I have not taken/ my sorrow; I could not awaken/ my heart to joy at the same tone;/ and all I lov'd, I lov'd alone." - Edgar Allan Poe

"I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

I am alone in my flesh. Surrounded by warmth; layers of skin and life construct me. I have soft parts and hard bones, and senses... But even these fail me.

We need communion with God because we are never truly united. We were made for a greater union than any we may experience in this docile life. We swim and crawl through our experiences, screaming just to shred our throats and know our voices still function even though no one seems to truly hear them. We screw up to make sure we still have guilt, because if we did not, we would have lost a piece of our humanity in this world that means nothing. We must fail to test our own existence, to make sure we still have a piece of this evasive eternity we both loathe and desire. We cry out for answers and anger ourselves demanding comprehension, but we will not find it here. We demand meaning with entitlement that was never ours to possess.

Everything is meaningless. Yet, we are given so much to busy our hands while we pull ourselves through the grime that wets the wings of our spirits and keeps us from ascending to transcendence. This is our lot; we should grasp it with iron grip and work exhaustively with it until we have no more breath with which to perform. We ought to enjoy what we are given - yet this statement is so loosely tossed. "Enjoy" seems to imply some kind of happiness, but I do not think that is always so. To enjoy, to me, is to feel in every shard of your being; to appreciate existence by allowing it to saturate the very essence of your being. Not every emotion will be uplifting or laughable, but that does not mean they are not satisfying. Rejoice, and know that you are alive. Because you feel, you are in existence. You have been given a great gift that may lead you to the one great King who brought your humanity to life. If you are angry, sad, hurt, ecstatic, feel it to the very marrow of your bones, and know that you have been blessed with a true soul with which you are able to bring praise to your Creator, here and, someday, in eternity.

"It is better to go to a house of mourning that to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart. Frustration is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart." Ecclesiastes 7:2-3

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